Anger. Anger is what I feel when I enter into a township where the children live without a Father, without a Mother, and are taken in by the endearing, kind-hearted 80 year old Go-Go (Grandma) who has already taken in the last 13 orphans she sees living without a Father or Mother. She knows she doesn't have a place in her one room home for them to sleep or enough money to clothe or feed them properly, but out of the goodness in her heart she feels she has to do something.
Bitterness. Bitterness is what I feel when I visit the township of Madisons. Where over 100 orphans come every Sunday to sing, dance, and hear about Jesus. They come in their Sundays best clothing- shirts shredded and torn and pants with holes all throughout. Clothes barely pieced together and shoes either falling apart or without any at all. They all sit outside of a shack, that is barely being held together, on the side of the dirt road where they gather for the teaching and worship during their Sunday school service.
Guilt. Guilt is what I feel while passing out sandwiches to each of the children after Sunday school. A piece of bread with butter, cheese, and plony (plony=pig meat). Luckily today, this will be an additional meal for the children, compared to the one meal they are given each day by their care takers.
Conviction. Sorrowful, deep, conviction is what I feel when I think about the comfortable life I live. Comfortable in my own full size bed, a refrigerator full of food, car, beautiful home, and abundance of clothes- not only clothes without holes or tears but always up to the lastest fashion statement and brand name.
Broken. Truly, completely broken is my heart. Just thinking about the selfish ways that I go through life thinking of no one other than myself and my needs, my wants, and my desires, how I am going to make my future and my dreams a reality. My, my, my, my, my.
Servant. A servant is what I desire to be. A slave. A servant for Christ. For his people, for the lost, and for the broken. The hands and the feet of Jesus are what I am supposed to be. Serving, giving, and providing. So that Christ's kingdom may be known a little more through me on this earth.
Uncomfortable. Uncomfortable is how I want to live. Meeting the needs of anyone other than myself. Giving and giving and giving until I cant give anymore. Selflessly loving until it hurts. Jesus never said I am entitled to anything, instead Peter reminds me that with every gift I am given I am to use it to serve one another as it is ONLY given to me by God's grace (1Peter 4:10).
Humbled. Humbled is how I feel as I begin to realize how small I am under the light of Christ's glory. Realizing how he is everything and I am nothing. It is only by Him that I can do anything. He is the only place of healing and hope for our hurting world. How unimportant are my needs compared to those of His people...
Jesus. Jesus is my role model. Even more so then ever as he continues to open my eyes to His purpose for me in this life. He is the Savior and King and yet through his sacrificial love died so that I could live. He is the Lord of Lords and yet in utter humility and servanthood he bent down and washed the disciples feet. He is the one true Messiah and yet he only proclaimed he was doing his Fathers will. He is worthy and yet made himself less. I am UNworthy and still constantly trying to make myself more. Jesus, make me a humble servant and nothing more.
I have seen so many teardrops
Fall to the ground
I've held the hand of God's children
Once lost and now found
I have walked it and I know
That my King is alive
And no other one
Has the love You provide
I want all who I meet
To see You through me
I want all that I speak to be You
If there's anything that I would pray
It's that the whole world would seek Your face
And in spite of who I can be
Please reign in me
Reign in me
I know it starts with the desire
To give You control
To lay down all my dreams
So You have my heart in full
Lord I know this weary battle
It begins on my knees
In everything I want You to be pleased
I want all who I meet
To see You through me
I want all that I speak to be You
If there's anything that I would pray
It's that the whole world would seek Your face
And in spite of who I can be
Please reign in me
Reign in me
I can see the waters rising
I can hear the hearts reviving
Through You there's nothing we can't do
Let's carry the people crying
And be a generation fighting
To lead the lost into Your hands
Reign in me, reign in me
In my heart, in my mind, in my soul
Be the Lord of my life, take control
"Reign In Me"
- Jeremy Camp
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